During that terrifying thing known as smalltalk usually one of the first questions that gets asked is “So, what do you do?”.

My first complaint is that the question usually really means ‘What is your job?’ and by making the job part implicit, the question is giving way too much importance to the work we do. I do lots of things, and one of them happens to be something I earn money for doing.

So I assume they are talking about what I get paid to do, and I say something like “I’m a computer programmer”. This brings me to the second problem. Unless I’m in a room full of geeks, and talking to a fellow geek, this usually results in a glazed “oh no, it’s one of those” expression, a polite “Oh, that’s interesting” and a complete end to that thread of conversation. I realise that to a non-computer person what I do is probably akin to black magic, but I’m sure if my answer was “Oh, I’m a warlock” it would at least generate a bit more conversation. Why is it so hard to find things to say about computer programming?

I work as a computer programmer. It’s quite interesting. Really. I develop and maintain modules for a centralized accounting and finance database. I use Oracle and Unix tools to do my job. I’ve been writing computer programs since I was about 10, and earning money for it since I was 19. Sometimes I do it for fun too. I do not own a pocket protector or a slide rule, and my glasses are perfectly intact.