Back by popular demand

Filed under: — jen

Music meme - round 3

Step 1: I put my media player on random. [Well, kinda]
Step 2: I picked a line from the first 20 songs that played.
Step 3: I am posting the lines here for your guessing pleasure. Song title and artist please.
Step 4: I will cross out the songs as they are guessed correctly.

Yeah, yeah, we all know how to Google, but letís not. Donít make me come over there and kick your ass.

*Looks sternly at Paul*

*Waves a Celine Dion cd and a bag of marshmallows at Shawn*

This was originally found via other Paul.

Play nice boys and girls.

Me and Fast got the gats; we’re out to rob a bank.
We got Steve outside carrying a full pack.
Now everything’s cool and everything’s smooth. (Hey that’s smooth)
I walked up to the teller, I gave her the letter
She gave me the loot with puckered up lips

We carry in our hearts the true country
And that cannot be stolen
We follow in the steps of our ancestry
And that cannot be broken

Youíre makin’ out with school kids, winos and heads of state.
You even made it with the lady, who puts the little plastic bobbins on the Christmas cakes.
Butchersí assistants and bellhops, you’ve had them all here and there.
Children of god and their joy-strings, international women with no body hair.

White youth, black youth
Better find another solution
Why not phone up Robin Hood
And ask him for some wealth distribution

Once upon a time when we were friends
I gave you my heart the story ends
No happy ever after now we’re friends

That’s great! It starts with an earthquake;
Birds and snakes, an aeroplane,
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid.

She was a fax machine,
She kept her modem clean,
She was the best damn woman that I ever seen

Ok, those arenít the real words, but you know the song, right?

They met in a hurricane
Standing in the shelter out of the rain
She tucked a note into his hand

Architects of the world
I walk your streets and live in your towns
Architects of the world
You’ve served us well until now
But soon we’ll be on our own

Two dozen other stupid reasons
Why we should suffer for this
Don’t bother trying to explain them
Just hold my hand while I come to a decision on it.

There goes my baby
She knows how to rock and roll
She drives me crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat

Thereís so many different worlds
So many differents suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

And now that I don’t want for anything
I’d have Al Jolson sing “I’m sitting on top of the world”

Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the musicís high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
Youíre in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance…

Two jumps in a week, I bet you think thatís pretty clever donít you boy.
Flying on your motorcycle, watching all the ground beneath you drop.
Youíd kill yourself for recognition, kill yourself to never ever stop.
You broke another mirror, youíre turning into something you are not.

Always, I know
Youíll be at my show
Watching, waiting, commiserating
Say it aint so, I will not go
Turn the lights off, carry me home

It ain’t no joke I’d like to buy the world a toke
And teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
And teach the world to snuff the fires and the liars
Hey I know it’s just a song but it’s spice for the recipe

Oh, I see a man at the back
As a matter of fact his eyes are red as the sun
And a girl in the corner let no one ignore her
‘Cause she thinks she’s the passionate one

A police car and a screaming siren -
A pneumatic drill and ripped up concrete -
A baby wailing and stray dog howling -
The screech of brakes and lamp light blinking Ė

Iíve been down - Iíve been beat
Iíve been so tired-that I could not speak
Iíve been so lost thatt I could not see
I wanted things that were out of reach



Filed under: — jen

A real life conversation that took place a couple of weeks ago - when it was Mark that was sick and not me.

Me: Were you awake when I got up last night?

Mark: I don’t think so.

Me: You didn’t hear me go downstairs? I couldn’t sleep.

Mark: I do know that I took my boxers off at some point.

Me: Why did you do that?

Mark: I needed a hankie.

Me: You blew your nose in your boxers?

Mark: No, I just needed them to wipe my nose.

What is it with men and snot?

Men. Gross, but still lovable.


Simon says…

Filed under: — jen


have a happy Easter! (Susan says it too)


Same sex marriage: Bill C-38

Filed under: — jen

I was shocked and angry to find that my MP is voting against Bill C-38. Below is my letter to him.

Please visit Canadians for Equal Marriage to see what you can do to help.

For those of you who are broken-hearted about missing my birthday on the 15th, there’s still time to get me a fabulous gift - a donation to the good folks above would bring me great joy.

Other links:

Bill C-38

Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms

You may also write to your M.P. directly at the following address:

First name, Last name, M.P.
House of Commons, Ottawa, ON K1A 0A6

My letter:

Francis Scarpaleggia, M.P.
House of Commons, Ottawa, ON K1A 0A6

Dear Sir,

I am a happily married heterosexual woman and I am dismayed to find that you will be voting against bill C-38.

While same-sex marriage is a controversial and emotional topic; dislikes, discomfort, fear and intolerance should not be allowed to take precedence over human rights.

Our wonderful Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms states the following:

1. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society.

(1) Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.

While all Canadians have the freedom to express their concerns regarding this issue, it is important that this freedom is not confused with denying rights to others.

I respectfully implore you to vote in favour of Bill C-38.


Open up!

Filed under: — jen

March 17 - Due to the apparently overly subtle and satirical nature of this post, please read the comments and the linked article before leaving your own comments. I hope that will make things clearer.

Here’s an alternative for Kansas Attorney-General Phill Kline’s crusade to investigate and prosecute child rape.

Effective immediately, doctors must open up the medical files of any and all men who sought testing or tested positive for any kind of venereal disease. The logic for this is simple and as follows:

-Many men frequent prostitutes.

-Frequenting prostitutes may result in venereal disease.

-Prostitutes are often underage and vulnerable girls.

How about it guys? Who wants to be first to open up their medical files in aid of this very worthy cause? How about you, Phill?


How they got here

Filed under: — jen

Today’s featured search is:


Perhaps they were looking for “Jennifer, Juniper” by Donovan?


All my exes live in Texas

Filed under: — jen

Today is Tyler’s 30th birthday. Those of us who are not afraid of heights will be spending part of the day climbing at a climbing gym. One of us who is afraid of heights has been entrusted to let the caterer in chez Tyler and Cara.
That would be me. I am not afraid of eating.

It is also Tom’s birthday today (an ex).

Happy birthday to the Ts!

On Tuesday, it is the birthday of some bossy blogger.
On Wednesday, it’s Jamey’s birthday (another ex).

Happy birthday to the Js!

On Saturday, it is Sahfi’s birthday, Sahfi is my very good friend and another ex…ex-Montrealer that is.

On the 30th, it is Rick’s birthday, and you guessed it, another ex…ex-husband this time.

On the 31st, it is Lisa’s birthday, and can you sense a theme here, you got it, another ex…Lisa is my ex-neighbour lady.

Happiest of happys to you all, may you enjoy your day wherever you may be.



Filed under: — jen

Again with the snow. Make it stop. Make it stop now.

I keep seeing all these billboards advertising something called Sensass! I’m not sure what it is, possibly some kind of magazine. All I see is ass!

It’s Pubquiz night tonight at McKibbins.

It’s Pubquiz night tomorrow night at Hurley’s.

Who wants my job boss?

I need new socks.


The lazy, lazy weekend.

Filed under: — jen

got up
We got up.

I had my giant cup of coffee.

We walked down to the lake. It’s still frozen. (The lake is that white stuff in the background when you look through the arbour.)

We walked along Lakeshore for a bit, then picked up a newspaper at the dep. (Dep is short for depanneur, which is Quťbecois for convenience store.)

Mark picked up some sandpaper for his woodworking project.

Winter trees against the winter sky.

We came home again.

I read my book.

I had some tea.

I read the paper.

I watched some silly decorating shows.

Mark attempted to make Cornish pasties while doing his best Jack Nicholson in The Shining impression.

I had a bath.

We watched the first Formula 1 (not to be confused with NASCAR thank you very much.) race of the season.

We went to bed.

I got up to pee.

I enjoyed immensely the experience of peeing while the toilet was moving from side to side. Apparently there was an earthquake which started the second I sat on the toilet. (Maybe the earthquake was caused by me sitting on the toilet.)

I went back to bed. Mark slept through the earthquake.


Got up, had giant cup of coffee (see above).

Read interesting and thoughtful essay here.



I’ve got the music in me…well, near me anyway

Filed under: — jen

Since it was so much fun the first time, let’s do it again.

Step 1: I put my media player on random. [Well, kinda]
Step 2: I picked a line from the first 20 songs that played.
Step 3: I am posting the lines here for your guessing pleasure. Song title and artist please.
Step 4: I will cross out the songs as they are guessed correctly.

Yeah, yeah, we all know how to Google, but letís not. *Looks sternly at Paul* ;)

This was originally found via other Paul.

Play nice boys and girls.

Still so young to travel so far
Old enough to know who you are
Wise enough to carry the scars
Without any blame, there’s no one to blame

But she just couldn’t stay
She had to break away
Well New York City really has it all
Oh yeah, oh yeah

You want to feel a little warmth
A little mercy
You want to feel like this is real
But itís so cold this time of year

He was a boy
She was a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun

Here comes the future and you canít run from it
If youíve got a blacklist I want to be on it

Ridin’ down the highway
Goin’ to a show
Stop in all the by-ways
Playin’ rock ‘n’ roll

Well maybe I’m the faggot America
I’m not a part of a redneck agenda
Now everybody do the propaganda
And sing along in the age of paranoia

You can’t take me anywhere
I’ll strip down to my underwear
If you give me half a chance

Here’s your ticket pack your bag: time for jumpin’ overboard
Transportation is here
Close enough but not too far, maybe you know where you are
Fightin’ fire with fire

Now the partyīs over
Iīm so tired
Then I see you coming
Out of nowhere
Much communication in a motion
Without conversation or a notion

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn

I’m your only friend
I’m not your only friend
But I’m a little glowing friend
But really I’m not actually your friend
But I am

Hey where did we go
Days when the rains came
Down in the hollow
Playin’ a new game

In a noisy bar in Avalon
I tried to call you
But on a midnight watch I realised
Why twice you ran away

O the year was 1778
How I wish I was in Sherbrooke now
A letter of marque came from the king
To the scummiest vessel I’ve ever seen

I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
And I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as Iíd been the night before
And I went in seeking clarity

Krista was a rover from Canada she hailed
We crossed swords in San Francisco we both lived to tell the tale

I’m broke but I’m happy, I’m poor but I’m kind
I’m short but I’m healthy, yeah

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