In the Kitchen with Jen
Those of you who know me well, know I don’t like to cook. In fact, I hate it. I’d rather stick forks in my eyes than cook.
However, on the very rare occasion, I have been known to cook. Not much good has ever come of it though. Once I made a stir-fry and it came out robin’s egg blue. I don’t have the recipe for that particular fiasco, but I thought I would share two of my favourite recipes with you.
Mess on Plate
Ingredients:
One boneless, skinless chicken breast
Half a can tomatoes
One onion
Renées Caesar salad dressing
Directions:
Cook chicken (grill, fry or bbq)
Cut onion into rings and fry until glassy
Heat tomatoes in a pot
When everything is cooked, combine on a plate and top with (lots of) Caesar salad dressing.
Kraft Dinner
Ingredients:
2 boxes of Kraft Dinner
Milk
Butter
Directions:
Open both boxes of KD
Throw away contents of one box (except for the powdered cheese packet)
Thrust remaining ingredients in husband’s (or other suitable person’s) face.
Demand that he (or she) make the KD more or less as per instructions but with the following variations:
Use real butter, skim milk, and two packets of cheese.
Happy cooking.
August 10th, 2005 at 9:58 am
You forgot about Coronation Chick-peas, which I believe is a can of chick-peas mixed with mayonaise and curry powder. Apparently it makes a good sandwich. I’m not convinced.
August 10th, 2005 at 10:23 am
Oh yeah, that is a good one. You left out the bit about spreading mango chutney on the bread though.
August 10th, 2005 at 10:32 am
Simplest sandwich recipe in the world: Bread with mayo spread on it and a heavy layer of plain potato chips. Mash it down hard to crunch up the chips. Enjoy. This will get you through bouts of depression as well.
August 10th, 2005 at 10:34 am
Alan - that’s known in our house as a “crisp” sandwich cuz my husband is a silly Brit.
I am somewhat reluctant to eat them, cuz they cross a line…even for me.
August 10th, 2005 at 11:40 am
Cooking gets easier with practice. My wife hated it and I think she was a little intimidated. Now I think she actually enjoys it.
August 10th, 2005 at 6:06 pm
I hate cooking too. Practice only makes me more sick of it. So does cleaning up AFTER cooking. In fact, I hate kitchens fullstop. Except for important things like coffee. For coffee, I am SO there.
August 10th, 2005 at 7:22 pm
You domestic goddess you
So, what are these Kraft dinners all about? And why do they need butter and cheese?
August 10th, 2005 at 9:12 pm
Fi - Kraft Dinner seems to be a North American thing. It’s pasta in a box that comes with a packet of dried orange cheese - aka macaroni and cheese. You cook up the pasta, throw in some butter, milk and the cheese packet and voila, a quick meal almost entirely devoid of nutritional value.
August 10th, 2005 at 9:22 pm
So basically you make 1 Kraft Dinner but use two of the cheese packets? I’ve never tried it, does it taste better lol
August 10th, 2005 at 10:16 pm
FW - Oh yes, much, much better, it’s the cheesiest
August 11th, 2005 at 3:44 am
You can get Kraft Dinner in the UK, but it’s called Kraft “cheesy pasta”. That’s just wrong. How funny, I always made KD with two cheese packets, too. As for your other recipes…um…I don’t think I would have been tempted by them, even during pregnancy.
P.S. Crisp sandwiches are great. I used to put Doritos or Hostess dill pickle chips on my sandwiches as a kid. Yum yum yum.
August 11th, 2005 at 8:30 am
Lady - that’s pretty funny about the two packets of cheese. It must be a Neighbour Lady thing.
August 12th, 2005 at 11:26 am
Do you double the butter and milk part for the double cheese bags?
I’ve learned to cook pretty well over the years (taking after my father quite nicely, thank you).
Made a Brisket on the grill yesterday.
“Dry Rub” marinated it for 2 days…
Cooked it about 5 hours.
Came out PERFECT!
(I was pleasantly surprised ;o)
August 12th, 2005 at 12:54 pm
I’ve heard that there is actually more nutrients in the box of KD than inside of the box.
i.e. if you eat the cardboard, it’s better for you.
I suspect this is just an urban legend, but it is fun to imagine.
August 12th, 2005 at 1:33 pm
Jamey - No, only double the cheese. Woo you on the cooking. I do believe that a man’s place is barefoot in the kitchen
Shawn - It wouldn’t surprise me if that was true.
August 12th, 2005 at 6:22 pm
screw nutrients - I eat what tastes good…
August 17th, 2005 at 5:13 pm
The secret is to add cheese whiz to the KD. Sad.