9/29/2005

Bush Joke

Filed under: — jen

George Bush is having a White House briefing and is told “Six Brazilian soldiers were killed today!”

“On, God, NO!”, George cries, and covers his face with his hands.

His aides are shocked at such an emotional outburst until George looks up and asks “Uh, how many is a brazilian, anyway?”

9/28/2005

The Amazing Race - Family Edition

Filed under: — jen

I don’t think I’m going to like this version as much as the regular one, but there were a couple of entertaining moments last night. Among them, one team’s obvious confusion over what “Pennsylvania” might be - illustrated by the statement, “Pennsylvania may be a state.”

I wonder if they know what and where Canada is.

Oh, and the teams that MUST be eliminated as soon as possible:

The Rogers and The Weavers - for obvious reasons if you know me.

9/27/2005

As a three dollar bill

Filed under: — jen

Taken from The Little Hedgehog

10 Assertions against Gay Marriage. With bonus sarcasm!

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets! Because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans

Please feel free to post this list on your blog if you support gay marriage.

9/21/2005

My imaginary boyfriends

Filed under: — jen

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Billy Boyd aka Pippin. I’d have him for breakfast, or even second breakfast.

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Billy Joe Armstrong aka that guy from Green Day. I wish he’d come around.

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Alistair Appleton aka the ex-presenter of House Doctor. Yeah, yeah, I know he’s gay, but he’s still hot!

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Viggo Mortensen aka Strider, aka Aragorn. Leaves me speechless.

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Trevor Eve aka that bloke out of Waking the Dead
I just do, ok!

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Gabriel Byrne aka…well, he wasn’t Keyser Soze but I like him anyway.

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Harry Potter aka Mark aka the hottest of them all. This one isn’t so imaginary, I’m pretty sure I’m married to this one. Xoxox babe. (He loves it when I call him babe.)

9/15/2005

Random crap

Filed under: — jen

It’s International Job Switching Week. If you are a chocolate taster or a luxury hotel reviewer, I am willing to switch with you.

Search that ended up on my blog: we bite foreskins
For free? Or do you charge money for that?

Don’t tailgate me. I have a foul mouth and I know how to use it. Back off, you cocksucking motherfucker.

You LOSE keys and weight. You don’t loose them.

How Clean is Your House? An American version of a British show. I can’t stop watching it. It’s fascinating (and vomit-inducing) in a car-crash kind of way. I had to scrub all my kitchen counters yesterday. The fridge is next.

Only 101 days until Christmas, better start your shopping.

9/8/2005

Alex and the Jets

Filed under: — jen

Last weekend, our friend, Alex from Ingerland popped in for a whirlwind visit. Alex enjoyed himself in Vegas for a week before jetting into Montreal for the holiday weekend.

It was a purely hedonistic weekend. We ate in restaurants, we took a drive along the Lakeshore, we rented movies, played Trivial Pursuit and turned relaxation into a fine art.

Monday afternoon, Alex jetted back to Vegas for another week of gambling and excess before heading back to the Motherland.

look into my eyes
Look into my eyes, my eyes, my eyes, look into my eyes NOT AROUND THE EYES.

If you haven’t been watching Little Britain, well, why the hell not? What do you mean you don’t have BBC Canada/America?

9/1/2005

Search nugget

Filed under: — jen

The latest in amusing search strings ending up on my blog.

is there a movie theater seat back hair protector on the market?

Well, is there?

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